'Magic' by Sakina Bootwala - ATKT.in

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‘Magic’ by Sakina Bootwala

The ATKT.in Cypher is an exclusive community of some of our favourite artists and talent across categories of artforms. 

For the month of July, here’s the submission of Sakina Bootwala from KC College Mumbai, a member from the ATKT.in (Writers) Cypher on the topic – ‘Magic’. 

 

I am not a storyteller.

I do not believe in fairytales.

 

I shall not be awoken from my dreamless sleep of exhaustion with a loving kiss.

There shall be no mourners by my bedside,

wailing, waiting for my numb, weary body to move again

with the zeal that it did,

because they shall not notice

that my slumber is merely that of one awaiting death.

I shall lay, motionless, unable to realize the ticking of the clock

and the uncountable dawns I have witnessed,

without having experienced them.

A prisoner of malice,

held captive by the loathing I harbored for myself.

 

My tower of isolation shall not be invaded by concerned curiosity,

for I shall not allow it.

No, these walls shall not be penetrated

and I shall not assist anyone

who attempts the dangerous task of ascending their steep summits,

if they should even be able to locate me at all,

hidden as I am behind imposing walls

within the perimeter of thickets

and prickly shrubs where no flowers bloom.

I shall continue longing to be found,

yearning to explore the moors,

unable to fathom a world beyond my horizon.

A prisoner of suspicion,

confined by fear and doubt.

 

My veins shall not be rid of the poison circulating in them,

my weak heart shall not beat excitedly,

with strength pulsating through its every thump.

There shall be no removal of the substance

that leaves me incapable of achieving anything

but erratic breaths and broken sobs,

no matter the gentle caresses you hope to heal me with.

I shall remain paralysed by my own toxic thoughts and poisonous misery.

A prisoner of insecurities,

weakened by my inability to believe in my capabilities.

 

I am not a storyteller.

I do not believe in fairytales.

However, I do believe in true love

and though you may not have freed me from my prisons,

your laughter and warmth made the life of imprisonment magical for this fugitive.